Except Bensons', because the crisps they make are generally greasy and crap.

These phewls create confusion, uncertainty and doubt in the mind of the simple crisp-eater by insisting on using the wrong colours for their crisp packets! Everyone knows that Cheese & Onion is Green and Salt & Vinegar is Blue!

Wayhey!, *drool*, phwoarrr, hubba hubba, etc. :-)

Neeeaaarrgh! Just shut up woman. Shut up!

It's fast, easy to use, does what you would expect it to and even includes an assembler. You can write just about anything in it and the more you get to know the language, the more it makes sense.

It snipes and plots against you behind your back. Pretends to be object-oriented but isn't. Refuses to load files with two identically named routines. Syntax checks your half-finished lines and pops up stop-everything dialogues pointing out irrelevant errors...

They haven't noticed that BASIC is an acronym either.

Wik-wik-a-wikkow wik-a-wik-wik-a-wikkow ... bap-dala-bap, bap-dala-bap, bap-dala-bap-bah-bah!

The producers now seem to think The Bill is some sort of US cop show. "You're outta' control, Kawalski!" and that sort of thing.

This week Sam jumps into the body of the bloke who works down't chip shop (and must battle to save his goldfish.)

This week the cast jump into a world inhabited by people made of spam (who have a terrible secret.)

A Marathon Really Satisfies. Whereas a Snickers is just the sound of an amerkin sniggering.

Gorgeous peanut- caramel- chocolate- nougat combination. Shame about the name though.

They're made to make your mouth water!

But-But-But... Nooooo! They did it again! I cannot believe it!

Yes.

What is the world coming to?

It's good and always has been. The cast is funny, the dog is funny. Hell, I can even forgive Jane Leeves for that accent.

It's good, mostly. But, watch the UK episodes for confirmation of what bollocks it can be.